Is My Child Really Making Progress in English? Why Patience Matters
By Ian Kitching (Academic manager Early Years & Primary)
“My child has been learning English for three years, but they still won't speak English with me at home!”
This is a concern I have heard from parents many times throughout my career teaching young learners. And, as a parent myself, I completely understand.
We invest considerable time, money and energy in our children's education. Whether it's learning a language, playing a musical instrument or practising a sport, we naturally want to see progress. But what happens when that progress isn't immediately visible?
My own children, now 11 and 17, have tried piano, handball, karate, table tennis, Spanish, Vietnamese and art over the years. I have enjoyed watching them discover new interests and develop different skills. Of course, I have occasionally wondered whether they were progressing as quickly as I had hoped.
But one thing parenting and teaching have taught me is that children don't always develop at the pace we expect.
Why won't my child speak English at home?
I remember a colleague who spoke exclusively in English to her daughter, yet her daughter always replied in French. My colleague became increasingly concerned that her daughter couldn't speak English, even though she clearly understood everything.
Then, when she was around nine years old, something remarkable happened. Her daughter announced, in perfect English, that she had decided to start speaking English with her mother. From that day onwards, she did exactly that, while continuing to speak French with her father!
My own children have always spoken English with me, and they find it rather strange when we try speaking French together. Interestingly, although they are learning Spanish, they also feel uncomfortable practising it with me.
Children often associate particular languages with particular people and situations.
They may feel perfectly comfortable speaking English with their teachers and classmates but reluctant to demonstrate their abilities in front of their parents.
Research into bilingual children's language development, including a [review published in the Journal of Child Language], shows that children can participate in communication in different ways, even when they are not producing much spoken language.
This doesn't mean we should ignore genuine learning difficulties. However, a child's reluctance to speak at home is not, by itself, evidence that they aren't learning.
Learning a language takes time
Parents sometimes tell me that after several years of English lessons, their child still struggles to conjugate certain verbs or answer apparently simple questions.
But language learning doesn't follow a straight line.
Children don't simply master the present tense, move on to the past tense and never need to revisit either.
Instead, they encounter language repeatedly, gradually developing their understanding and ability to use it in different situations.
Some children are ready to speak quite quickly. Others need more time to listen, observe and build confidence.
As language education researcher [Rod Ellis explains in his work on task-based teaching], even beginners can develop their language skills through meaningful tasks that initially require understanding rather than extensive speaking.
Understanding language is already an important part of learning it.
How do we assess children's progress at the British Council?
At the British Council, we use continuous assessment to understand how children are developing throughout their lessons.
Teachers observe how children follow instructions, participate in activities, interact with classmates, use new language and develop the confidence to ask questions or request help.
Our lessons encourage children to use English for meaningful purposes through games, creative activities, problem-solving and projects.
For example, rather than simply memorising vocabulary about food, children might design a restaurant menu or role-play ordering a meal. They have a reason to communicate, and the language becomes useful to them.
This approach is supported by British Council guidance on assessing young learners, which emphasises meaningful tasks, age-appropriate assessment and recognising what children can do.
Parents can also follow their children's development through the British Council's [assessment and progress information], including progress reports, the Learning Hub dashboard, self-assessments and parent-teacher meetings.
These provide a much fuller picture of progress than asking children to perform a little English test at the dinner table!
How can parents encourage their children without putting pressure on them?
A 2024 study by Tanaka and Takeuchi found that parental involvement can positively influence children's motivation to learn English. Interestingly, parents and children don't always perceive that involvement in the same way.
This reminds us that even our best intentions may sometimes feel like pressure to our children.
Here are ten suggestions I would offer to parents:
1. Ask about their enjoyment. “Did you have fun today?” is a wonderful starting point.
2. Celebrate small achievements. Notice their efforts, curiosity and growing independence.
3. Let them choose. Encourage English books, songs, games or videos linked to their interests.
4. Read together. Enjoy English stories without making every page a vocabulary test.
5. Watch something together. An English-language film or cartoon can become a shared pleasure.
6. Play games in English. Board games, card and word games provide natural opportunities to encounter language.
7. Use the Learning Hub. Explore activities together while allowing your child some independence.
8. Avoid constant corrections. Let children finish expressing themselves and respond positively to their ideas.
9. Trust their teachers. Use progress reports and parent-teacher meetings to understand their development.
10. Be patient. Give children the freedom to demonstrate their abilities when they feel ready.
The British Council also provides additional ideas through its resources for supporting children's learning at home.
A final thought from one parent to another
We all want the best for our children. We want them to develop skills that will open doors to future studies, careers and opportunities.
But sometimes, in our enthusiasm to help them succeed, we unintentionally place too many expectations on their shoulders.
Our role is to encourage their curiosity, build their confidence and give them the time they need to grow.
So, the next time your child comes home from English class, resist the temptation to ask them to conjugate a verb or demonstrate everything they have learnt.
Instead, ask whether they enjoyed themselves.
And if they don't feel like talking about their lesson, that's fine too!
Remember, just because you can't always see progress doesn't mean it isn't happening. Sometimes, the most important thing we can give our children is the confidence to learn at their own pace.
Links to related articles:
Review published in the Journal of Child Language
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-child-language/articl...
Rod Ellis explains in his work on task-based teaching
https://www.jbe-platform.com/content/journals/10.1075/ltyl.19005.ell
British Council guidance on assessing young learners
https://www.teachingenglish.org.uk/professional-development/teachers/ass...
British Council's assessment and progress information
https://www.britishcouncil.fr/en/english-courses/children/parent-centre/...
2024 study by Tanaka and Takeuchi
https://www.jpll.org/index.php/journal/article/view/125
Resources for supporting children's learning at home
https://www.britishcouncil.fr/en/english-courses/children/parent-centre/...
